I have spent my life searching for perfection. Complaints about various issues of acceptance of my reality have plagued me since middle school. As I compared myself to the person I felt was the perfect model of the day, I always fell short. If I lost ten pounds, was nicer, smarter, had more money… I would be complete then, I would be happy.
I became paralyzed by the fear that I would never be enough. Ultimately, I abandoned who I was born to be in order to fulfill my own delusion of who I thought I was supposed to be.
Just Be was born in my search for who I am, my imperfect self. Through photographing abandoned buildings at night, I realized that each imperfect dwelling represents how I look at humanity. How I view others is ultimately a reflection of how I see myself. I see these hauntingly flawed structures that are worthy of being celebrated. The wrinkles and scars that each building wears show that they have weathered storms. The structures may show signs of crumbling, but they have not fallen. These places have character. They sit under the multi-colored skies that are signs that light does exist in the darkness, even if at times the light is hard to see. Titles of the work serve as a reminder that if we are able find beauty in our imperfection, we open ourselves up to a world of positivity.
Through this project I have recognized that I have reached the end of my search for the perfect version of myself. I have learned the value of the beauty in imperfection.